I Want To Punch Gordon Ramsay

How I would like to punch Gordon Ramsay -and other TV chefs like him- in the face. Why you ask? Is it because that it seems like every other show on FOX is his? Or is it -while on his shows- that at the end he speaks in such an exaggerated Ryan Seacrest game show speak that it makes William Shatner look like a fucking dialogue coach? While some people would think that one or both were good enough reasons, however, they are not mine. Here’s why:

While out trying to enjoy lunch with my wife the other day, two biddies (soccer mom’s from hell) sat behind us. And when they stopped trying to listen in on our conversation they began to -somewhat loudly, well loud enough for us to hear- dissect their meal (which was a salad by the way). They commented on how it was light and refreshing; how the greens and vegetables were fresh (“Almost as if they were picked today.”); how the salad dressing was done to almost perfection: not to strong, and not to light; how the grilled chicken completed the meal.

Okay. So what, you think.

The problem is that we’re in fucking Panera Bread. While I’m sure Panera would love hearing comments like that, but in truth -it’s what?- a step up from Subway and Quiznos. It’s not some gourmet, or Mom and Pop joint, that makes it all fresh and has people out daily looking for ingredients. It’s all prepackaged, and the so called cooks don’t do anything more that put the pre-made dough in the oven and put whatever hot sandwich on the grill. Even the soup comes in a bag and is heated up. No chopping; no rue or broth making; no nothing.

I’m not saying this because I have a problem with Panera Bread. Quite the opposite. I actually enjoy most of their food to other fast food places. My problem is that with shows like Ramsay’s and others that are on the Food Network, we now have a culture of people that think because they watch shows like ’Hell’s Kitchen’ and ’Master Chef’ and think they can cook; that they’re some kind of chef, and or critic (it‘s bad enough that we already have people acting like rejects from Mtv’s ‘The Jersey Shore‘). I’m all for people having an opinion when it comes to food. Hell, eat what you like. Just don’t try to make yourself to be something you’re not.

Next time, try going to a real restaurant, with a real chef -not some kid just out of high school pouring your bagged soup into a pot- and really develop your palette. Same with cook books. All because you can follow a recipe that was put out by some celebrity chef doesn’t mean that you’re a great gourmet cook. Leave that train of thought for sitting around your living room table with friends of the same mind set and dissect the foods that you guys put together.