Thursday, March 22, 2012

From Jersey to Jersey Back to Jersey

What was I just saying yesterday about “Hollywood Speak”? Oh, yeah, that rest means rehab.

Seems like everyone’s not so favorite reality star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino sort of kind of miss spoke when he said that wasn’t in rehab but somewhere undisclosed to get a much needed rest after his tough schedule of back to back seasons of the Shore and his umpteen appearances he seems to make. Where the hell these appearances take place and who the hell really wants to see this guy (or any of the Shore personnel) is beyond me. But hey, what the fuck do I know? Anyway, it so appears that The Situation is in fact in rehab (at the Cirque Lodge) for a, I quote here, “addiction to prescription meds.” What befuddles my mind is that if I was the one that was tired and beat up by the many things that I am doing why am I taking prescription meds? I would think I would need something that would keep me going so I could do all the things that I want to do. I don’t know about you, but prescription meds seem to slow me down and mellow me out. Now, I don’t dispel the notion that The Situation (or the Sitch to his budsters) has a substance problem with that particular drug but I think that there is more to it than that. As for the next season the Shore who knows what it’s going to look like. I mean the rumor mill has it that Mtv is already searching for a possible replacement for the much pregnant Snookie and now if the Sitch is on the mend from a drug problem would it be wise to put a person that is in a supposed recovery back in the same situation (lol… pun intended) that seems to have caused the problem in the first place? Only time will tell. I know I am at the edge of seat… NOT!



Anyhow, in other Jersey alum news, would you pay 50 bucks to join a site and then 15 a minute to talk to Jersey drop out Angelina Pivarnick? Thought not. But she turns out be one of the “A Listers” for a new 1-800 call thingy named Dial A Star. This site boosts the awesomeness of quality celebs such as Dina Lohan -you know her as mother of the fucking year. She comes in at 25 a minute. Her fantastic ex-hubby, Michael (surprise surprise) is also on this site. God forbid that Dina one ups him. However, dear old Michael only comes in at a cool 18 dollars a minute. Maybe next time, Mike, is the time that you might out do her. Doubt it though. Other notables include: Brace (Showtime’s “Gigolos”) for 20; Nadya Suleman ( Octomom) for 12; Danielle Staub (Real Housewives of New Jersey) at 18, I don’t know why anyone would want to talk to her but she is on there; and Tila Tequila for 20. Imagine what she’ll open up… lol… about that is. The list goes on but you can get most of those from the back of most porn mags and probably at a much reduced price.



And lastly, and by that I mean lastly, I happened upon another Mtv alum -they’re just coming out of the wood work today- in the form of has-been Pauly fucking Shore. You remember him, right? Thought not as well… lol… In case not, Pauly Shore was once an Mtv mainstay of the late 80’s early to mid 90’s celeb (I use that term for him loosely) who went by the persona “The Weasel”. In other words he is suppose to be a comedian, but unfortunately to be a comedian one has to be funny. Which he is not. Now with that said, some did find his antics funny for a time. Then again we have to remember this was the time of Pee Wee Herman (before the whole jerking off in the theater thing), and other annoying funny men. Regrettably, though, while he has aged his act has not. Hell, even Eddie Murphy changed his act somewhat, but for Pauly Shore he seems have caught Dice Clayitiss of never evolving. But if you want you can check out his new show on the CMT network (like Mtv but only country and, again, like Mtv doesn’t show videos in lieu of great reality programming and poorly made shows) you are more than welcome. He plays a mobster’s son from (where the fuck else) New Jersey who is in hiding from other mob families. Pauly stated that it is part Jersey Shore, part “Son in Law” (that would be a movie he filmed back in 1993. What did I say about evolving as a comedian?). However, I won’t be. What it’s called I can’t remember.



Well until next time, keep the booze cold and the hotties hot.

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