And the Winner is?... NOT ME!

You could sit back, watch, as the lemmings ran to the edge, or how I should really put it: you could sit back, watch, as the hordes of people far and wide lined up to throw down their hard earned (and not so hard earned) cash on the counter, some of which accompanied by strips of paper with their lucky numbers picked, to slid through the machine or they could take the easy, lazy route -why pick numbers when they have a machine to do it for you- and get those quick picks. And I hate to admit but I was one of those people. However, unlike many, I did NOT play more than 5 dollars worth, and did a mixture of my own numbers picked from the dark recesses of my brain and quick picks. I laugh as well as cringe when I see people toss down large sums of money, like gambling addicts at the roulette wheel, thinking that the more money you play the better chance you have to win, even tough they would probably have better odds at said wheel. A decent chunk of the fools addicted to this form of “legal”, “family friendly” gambling probably shouldn’t, but hey why stop them. A portion of this cash we all throw down goes to the schools… lol… right… and if you believe that I have a couple of things to sell ya. One of which is a bridge.



So as well go back to our normal fucked up lives the morning after the largest ever drawing in any Lottery ever, we find that all us except for the three that one are still in the same boat sailing along the same sea of shit. Am I undone, ungrateful, unhinged that I didn’t win? No. How can I be? The odds we’re NEVER in my favor, and the same can be said to all of you as well: how can you be? We all had a better chance at being struck by lighting on a sunny day.



So as you rip up your losing tickets in angry frustration never fear, just around the corner is another drawing. While it won’t be as large at first but who knows. Maybe the numbers will fall in that haphazard way and nobody will win for a number of weeks and the pot will grow and grow and grow, and every week you can hit the place you buy your fix and hope for the best, that, that haphazard way the balls fall will fall in your favor. Just don’t stand outside on cloudy days… lol… you might just instead hit a different kind of lottery.



In case you didn’t see, the winning numbers in Friday night’s (03-30-2012) drawing were 02-04-23-38-46, and the Mega Ball 23.

A Little 2012 Poster I Put Togther

No Love for Bobby Brown as he is Arrested for DUI... Again

Nice to see that Bobby Brown is right side up when it comes to train wrecks and that he is still a fantastic roll model for his daughter, Bobbi Kristina.

 

Brown was pulled over for talking on his cellphone (what a stupid charge, but Cali is hurting for money) and subsequently taken into custody on Monday afternoon for DUI in Encino, California when Highway Patrol smelled alcohol on him.

Close friends to Brown have stated that he has been having a hard time dealing with the death of his ex-wife, Whitney Houston, in case you have been living under a rock, who died from drowning and cocaine addiction. This isn’t the first time Brown has found himself on the receiving end of metal bracelets. Brown was arrested in 1996 for DUI and spent five days locked up for it. He also spent time in jail in 2000 after a court ordered drug test came up positive for cocaine.

Lets see how long before he takes that last limo ride to the cemetery gates to join Whitney. At least the two of them will leave us another train wreck in the form of their kind-of-brother-loving-but-not-really-related daughter as she talks about getting into the show biz that made he parents into the shiny examples of parenthood that are.

Cash Strapped Illinois is Strapping On it's Strap-On

Better watch out because it appears that the cash strapped state of Illinois is strapping on it’s strap-on and is about to give it’s citizens an anal ram job sans lube.



Those in the know and the power control have decided to let Chicago have it’s way (surprise surpirse) once again -however, they get away with getting their way by including the townships of Schaumburg and Aurora as well- by allowing the state tax rebate to be withheld and deducted from if you happen to owe money, say, for parking tickets or other bills outstanding like stop light cameras and such that you may have outsatnding. The state already stops allowing you from renewing your license plate sticker and/or your license for that matter if you owe anything from parking tickets to toll violations. Isn’t that nice of them. Even though if you miss paying one of these tickets they raise the price astronomically, like the toll-way authority charges a 25 dollar fine -to start with- on every missed toll NOT paid with-in 7 days. What the fuck is that?! The toll is only a 1.50 (WAY OVER PRICED) and they somehow get way with a 25 dollar fine per toll that only goes up when you don’t pay it in the allot time they give you. So, say, you missed the toll, you don’t pay in 7 days they raise it 25 dollars more (remember that’s per toll) and then they send you a letter saying you have thirty days (NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT) from the date of the letter, the problem here is that you may get that letter two weeks or more from the time it is dated. So now you miss that date and they raise the fine 50 dollars on top of the 25 you already owe and then start the process all over again. Now, for all you nay sayers out there that scream about how you should pay your fines I somewhat agree with you, but, how the fuck is this fair. How are we suppose to pay a fine that grows at such a rate (remember its per violation. So 25 per missed toll then 50 more per toll), not only that, it’s not like the toll-way authority sends out notices in a timely matter either. Back when they first stated this whole IPASS debacle the Authority would wait until you incurred a set amount before they started sending out notices. So, once again, if you were one of those people who do pay their fines right away you might not find out until you owed over 200 dollars worth in fines. Again, how the hell is this fair? Where is our right to a hearing? That little thing that is granted for all Americans because of the Constitution. Oh, they get around that -the same way the stop light cameras do as well- by sending out a picture of the violation. Sometimes that pic is so fucking dark and grainy it could be anything. And good luck calling because you’ll be on hold until you die and if you are lucky -or patient- enough to get a fucking human to talk to they are either unwilling or uncaring to actually help.




Again how is that fair? Why is it thrust upon our shoulders because the assholes we -for whatever the fucking reason- elected into office to represent us can’t seem to fill the gap in the budget or even bring in new job markets to build up the tax base?



It’s not. But for some unfathomable reason we still seem to stupid at seeing that these fools need to be shown the door when it comes to voting. Maybe we are just afraid of change; maybe we are to fat and lazy now to care; or maybe we are so disenfranchised by it all that we just get in the booth and do as we are told by the magic idiot box that is and has become television.



Maybe we should start voting for politicians the same way we do for American Idol, make the whole process of campaigning the same way. Maybe then we might get some new blood in office.

 

At the moment I am up for anything.

Girl Scouts Pledge and Dance.mp4 "The 100th Anniversary for the Girl Scouts"

I was part of this shoot. My footage is from the over head view and you can kind of see me on the lift. I am the person in the middle.

Want to thank the Girl Scout of America and Westfield Mall Chicago Ridge for having us out and filming.

Lamar Dropped by the Mavs

Lol… Here is something funny. Keeping in the vain of “reality television“, TMZ is reporting along with ESPN that hubby of Khloe Kardashian, Lamar Odom, has been dropped by the Dallas Mavericks down to their NBA D (development level) League the Texas Legends. However, he will still be paid his 8.9 million dollar salary -must be nice, right? to suck ass all season and still get paid that amount of cash.

This season has been the worst ever for the NBA player and has since struggled to find a rhythm since being traded to Dallas. But the trade hasn’t seemed cause him any problems when it comes to toting around with his wife and her television show. Maybe he should do less of that and more on the court. But hey, what the fuck do I know? He’s the one still getting a awesome pay check for sucking while I have to go out and earn pennies and cant ever get it wrong. But those are the brakes.

Maybe a Wildman is Exactly What Politics Needs Today

Well, it work Jesse Venutra in Minnesota so why not in Indiana. At least that is what “Survivor” alumni Rupert Boneham is hoping for. Turns out that the fan fav from the show will be running for governor for the great state of Indiana this November. Picking up the Libertarian Party nom today.

The 47 year old Boneham saying that he wants to take on the state’s political establishment because he feels that the voters deserve better than what they have now and that he is the best person to replace outgoing Republican Gov. Mitch Daniels who has reached his term limit. (Ah, term limits, now if the assholes in DC faired the same fate this country would be better off. But you know that is never going to happen. I’m surprised that the fools in Congress and the Senate actually thought it prudent to have limits on the Presidency.)

In a prepared statement made in the state’s capital, Indianapolis, Boneham said: "I have only one interest: Empowering Hoosiers to give back to their communities. If the government puts up roadblocks, then they should be repealed. Hoosiers have consistently voted in professional politicians and look at the results. Hoosiers should have a different choice in 2012."

Boneham has been a member of the Libertarian Party for nearly a year and is best known for his style of t-dyed shirts that he sported throughout both of his appearances of the reality television and that of his charity “Rupert’s Kids’ which he donated a portion of his winnings.

Even though he might be popular, Boneham will have an uphill battle for as it stands at the moment both GOP Rep. Mike Pence and former Democratic Indiana House Speaker John Gregg are the early favorites. But who knows, stranger things have happened in the arena of politics and if a former wrestler can win why can’t a reality TV star.

Good luck to ya Rupert.

From Jersey to Jersey Back to Jersey

What was I just saying yesterday about “Hollywood Speak”? Oh, yeah, that rest means rehab.

Seems like everyone’s not so favorite reality star Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino sort of kind of miss spoke when he said that wasn’t in rehab but somewhere undisclosed to get a much needed rest after his tough schedule of back to back seasons of the Shore and his umpteen appearances he seems to make. Where the hell these appearances take place and who the hell really wants to see this guy (or any of the Shore personnel) is beyond me. But hey, what the fuck do I know? Anyway, it so appears that The Situation is in fact in rehab (at the Cirque Lodge) for a, I quote here, “addiction to prescription meds.” What befuddles my mind is that if I was the one that was tired and beat up by the many things that I am doing why am I taking prescription meds? I would think I would need something that would keep me going so I could do all the things that I want to do. I don’t know about you, but prescription meds seem to slow me down and mellow me out. Now, I don’t dispel the notion that The Situation (or the Sitch to his budsters) has a substance problem with that particular drug but I think that there is more to it than that. As for the next season the Shore who knows what it’s going to look like. I mean the rumor mill has it that Mtv is already searching for a possible replacement for the much pregnant Snookie and now if the Sitch is on the mend from a drug problem would it be wise to put a person that is in a supposed recovery back in the same situation (lol… pun intended) that seems to have caused the problem in the first place? Only time will tell. I know I am at the edge of seat… NOT!



Anyhow, in other Jersey alum news, would you pay 50 bucks to join a site and then 15 a minute to talk to Jersey drop out Angelina Pivarnick? Thought not. But she turns out be one of the “A Listers” for a new 1-800 call thingy named Dial A Star. This site boosts the awesomeness of quality celebs such as Dina Lohan -you know her as mother of the fucking year. She comes in at 25 a minute. Her fantastic ex-hubby, Michael (surprise surprise) is also on this site. God forbid that Dina one ups him. However, dear old Michael only comes in at a cool 18 dollars a minute. Maybe next time, Mike, is the time that you might out do her. Doubt it though. Other notables include: Brace (Showtime’s “Gigolos”) for 20; Nadya Suleman ( Octomom) for 12; Danielle Staub (Real Housewives of New Jersey) at 18, I don’t know why anyone would want to talk to her but she is on there; and Tila Tequila for 20. Imagine what she’ll open up… lol… about that is. The list goes on but you can get most of those from the back of most porn mags and probably at a much reduced price.



And lastly, and by that I mean lastly, I happened upon another Mtv alum -they’re just coming out of the wood work today- in the form of has-been Pauly fucking Shore. You remember him, right? Thought not as well… lol… In case not, Pauly Shore was once an Mtv mainstay of the late 80’s early to mid 90’s celeb (I use that term for him loosely) who went by the persona “The Weasel”. In other words he is suppose to be a comedian, but unfortunately to be a comedian one has to be funny. Which he is not. Now with that said, some did find his antics funny for a time. Then again we have to remember this was the time of Pee Wee Herman (before the whole jerking off in the theater thing), and other annoying funny men. Regrettably, though, while he has aged his act has not. Hell, even Eddie Murphy changed his act somewhat, but for Pauly Shore he seems have caught Dice Clayitiss of never evolving. But if you want you can check out his new show on the CMT network (like Mtv but only country and, again, like Mtv doesn’t show videos in lieu of great reality programming and poorly made shows) you are more than welcome. He plays a mobster’s son from (where the fuck else) New Jersey who is in hiding from other mob families. Pauly stated that it is part Jersey Shore, part “Son in Law” (that would be a movie he filmed back in 1993. What did I say about evolving as a comedian?). However, I won’t be. What it’s called I can’t remember.



Well until next time, keep the booze cold and the hotties hot.

The Situation for the Situation is Rehab. Or in Hollywood Speak: "Rest"

I love “Hollywood Speak”. They’re not in rehab, they just have gone someplace for rest and relaxation. Or the story goes… lol… and the latest television star (I say that as loosely as I possible can) Mike “the Situation’ Sorrentino is saying. Well, at least through his rep.

I paraphrase: “The Situation isn’t in rehab for substance abuse. He has spent several weeks at an undisclosed location for much needed rest from his extensive production schedule.”

WHAT?! Extensive (and I’ve seen “grueling” as well) production schedule? What the fuck is it that you do? Oh, yeah, you are a “Reality Star”! Must be tough having a free trip to Italy (and Miami as well) and then having to live in a house that you don’t pay for. Oh, I’m sorry, you have to take the time out your day of going to the gym (but it seems that you have been doing that less and less) and bars every night picking up UGLY women by “working” at a t-shirt shop. Yeah, that sounds fucking tough. Try doing a real fucking job that you get to do 5 to 6 days a week, getting up at 5 am and really working from anywhere from 8 to 12 hours a day. Sorry if I seem a little NOT CARING. But I don’t care.

And how are we surprised that he might (if not all of them if we want to be truthful) have some kind of substance problem. As I stated before he only went out every night and drank. That will tax even the most professional drinker -me included. I wish that people would just fess up and say “Yes, I’m a (insert problem of choice) and I need help.” Or that you don’t need help. Fuck. I would have more respect for someone if they said that. Hell, I have a drinking problem, well, its not so much of a problem because I still do and get what needs to be done done. But I do drink more than the average bear. And if and when I ever have to do a stint in the old rehab (which I doubt because rehab is for quitters… lol) I’ll be more than happy to say that “yeah, I need time to get my head together.” Does that mean I’ll quit doing and living he way I do. NO. And I am more than happy to say that. Not that I think this fool will change his was either. He has a tough life to lead.

I truly hope that Mike “the Situation” doesn’t change his ways but goes right back to doing what he does best. Nothing but sponging off Mtv and his fifteen minutes of fame that he has stretched out way to long. I need some new train wrecks to follow. The ones I have now seem to be either dying off (Amy Whinehouse) or getting their shit together (Brittney Spears).

So I say party on Mike. My you crash and burn with great gusto and for the ages.

Until next time…

What I am currently working on:

"the dope show" is a strange, chaotic story of love and betrayal with-in the back drop of pharmaceuticals and pornography and the craziness that can be life on the edge.

The novel centers around David Blair, who, while attending the wedding of his mother (her second), meets and falls in love with his new step-sister, Dana.

After a passionate tryst with Dana in the hotel that the couple was staying following the reception, David goes back (or tries too, anyway) to his normal life of being at college and living with his girlfriend, Heather. But on a trip back home for the holidays, David finds himself torn between a life that seems to be being controlled by his family and girlfriend to what he thinks he wants with Dana.

This bizarre love triangle that David finds himself leads to a chance escape to LA where the two lovers meet up with friends and acquaintances from Dana’s arcane past. But not all goes according to plan (because there isn’t one), and David finds his fate is inexplicably linked to the fate of not only Dana but that of all of those around him as he is pulled deeper into the drug scene which leads a desperate plan that has David in the center of the porn industry, looking to make one big score that will either make or break him.

And when things start to go rampant with Dana‘s and his life, he has no one else to blame for his choices but himself.