The Back Room Deals and Cutting Room Feels of American Idol and Shows Like It

It case you didn’t know, care, or just live under a fucking rock, the one Simon Cowell has a book out. Not by him of course, but about him. The supposed unauthorized biography entitled: “Sweet Revenge” details and entails the lavish lifestyle of the man America (and Britain to an extent) loves to hate. But, not really. For those who have watched and still watch that bastion of crap, you remember then that he made the show with his overly critical comments that left many in tears and, or, angry. Now, however, with his departure from Idol the show has taken on a more friendly feel with Steven Tyler and Jlo, along with lone hold-out Randy Jackson.

While the book centers around Cowell it does, nevertheless, delve into the inner workings of the music industry, and, namely American Idol.

It has always been a long stranding rumor of what actually goes on behind the magic curtain; off camera American Idol. First, they don’t always pick the best singers to even make it as far as the TV judges. The filtering process is about, to even get the coveted television cameras, is about as believable as, say, flying pigs.

Like moths drawn to a flame, so are hopeful wannabes drawn to FAME. Their hopes and dreams are front and center to be played out on camera. The bigger the SOB the more airtime, whether you can sing or not. Because in reality TV that is what they want. Not talent. They want the ratings. So that means SOB stories and people that really CAN NOT sing. It was also well-publicized that the judges do not actually show up until months later, after that selection process. With talent scouts and producers screening the big crowds in groups, then the executive producers audition a smaller group, and then they select a group of 100 or so people to be judged. So when you see Ryan Seacrest in all his fucking glory standing in front huge crowds its all bullshit; the magic that is television. But you knew that already, didn’t you.

After all the nonsense of the auditions and the specials on the people we didn’t see good or bad, the contestants are finally chosen, place upon the big stage: lights camera, action. Producers shining the light called fame in the eyes that have made thus far, dangling it in front of the finalists like a drug, getting them even more hooked. That’s where the real predators come out (back stage), agents setting their eyes on the finalists with promises of more of the drug they crave, but like all good drug dealers it comes with a price to the junky. That price? Well, it has been reported to be at least 20% of earnings for the next 12 years. Yeah, that’s right. Before you even have the chance to make money on YOUR talent you have to give up a nice chunk of it some else. If it was me, and I had their needle in my arm and willing to give up my soul for the chance, you better believe that I wouldn’t be on the local FEED & SEED tour, playing county fairs opening for acts like STYX or FOREIGNER. But in the end that is where most of them end up. How many actual winners do we see? (Two?) Compared to how many non-winners that seem to have a bigger draw and some kind of career (can we say Jennifer Hudson). Whatever happen to Ruben Studdard, Fantasia, Taylor Hicks? Just to name a couple.

Besides the lucky few that are able to stand out, the rest toil along in the shit of promises until they are discarded like trash. Hell, that’s the business and the business is cruel. And if you can’t hack that part of it don’t be in the game. But they don’t show that part on IDOL. Not even close. They [producers of the show] act like they care, like they have morals by throwing out people that seem buck against the rules. “See? See how we got ride of that person with a (insert problem here)?” Like they didn’t know in the first place. Another ratings scam perpetrated upon the fools that watch. Fools that, I’m sure, will be standing in line ready to drink the KOOL-Aid.

So if you are staking a claim on the RIVER OF FAME, getting ready for that fix that will take you to the promise land on one of those awesome shows that networks are shoving down our throats (AMERICAN IDOL, THE VOICE, AMERICA’S GOT TALENT), stop and think where when some asshole dangles the needle in front of your eye with hollow promises of FAME and FORTUNE “Just for a small price.”